This has been a tough week for me on a professional level. I lost my biggest client and being self employed, that’s a huge hit both mentally and financially. I would honestly rather just go into our
room, draw the curtains, grab a bottle of wine and just hibernate til it all goes away.
But I can’t.
Because no matter how crappy today is, the alarm will still go off at 6am tomorrow and there are 3 girls and a Rooster who live in this house that expect me to be at my best. They expect my help picking out their school clothes, finding all the things that belong in their backpack, get them to school with a smile and a kiss and help with their homework when the school day is done. They expect food to be ready and conversations to be had.
And they rightfully deserve that.
Days like this make it hard to put on that smile and to listen intently about their day when my mind is wandering off to thoughts of how am I going to bounce back from this loss? Will I be able to keep my company open? Will I be able to afford the things we need? But they don’t understand these stress points and while I don’t sugarcoat things with them, I also don’t think they need to know everything about the stress levels I am under.
They see me as their hero.. that I can do no wrong.. that I am their ray of sunshine.. their go-to person when things are broken when in fact, that’s what they are to me. If it weren’t for them, I would never laugh on days like this. I wouldn’t have hope that things will get better. I wouldn’t have the motivation to MAKE things better.
So for them, I trudge on when I want to run and hide. I put on my happy face and pretend that all is wonderful with the world and life couldn’t be better. Because that’s my real job.. to be there for all of them.
I wonder if they’ll ever know how grateful I am to them for that.













