A Most Traumatizing Time

This week has been an absolute whirlwind of activity. A lot of it good, something unexpected and then some of it pretty close to traumatizing.

Which of these three events do you think caused me the most trauma in my week?

I had to come home from a girl's weekend in Jamaica
I had to come home from a girl’s weekend in Jamaica
Coming home to find out our "newest" car was knocking on death's door and had to be replaced
Coming home to find out our “newest” car was knocking on death’s door and had to be replaced
I discovered that I am getting a waddle.
I discovered that I am getting a waddle.

If you guessed “waddle”, you’re correct. Sorry I don’t have a prize for you – not even a jar of anti-aging cream. Because if I did, I’d keep it for myself.

Do you remember the show Ally McBeal? Great show.. loved it. But all I can think of now is the ongoing dialouge between Dyan Cannon’s character, Whipple and Greg Germann’s character, Fish. I wish I could find the clip on YouTube but I can’t. Essentially, he finds it to be a huge turn on and she doesn’t. I’m with Whipple.

I can handle the smile lines around my mouth and the wisdom lines around my eyes. I’ve embraced my gray by making it part of my “look” and I even tolerate my joints aching a bit.

But this waddle thing?  Not so much.

I really think someone needs to do a better job of forewarning me what’s around the corner. Other than the ominous “just wait til you hit 40” remark I kept hearing, I got nothing from anyone! They’ll force advice down your throat when you’re engaged, pregnant or in college but when it comes to the little changes you aren’t expecting, where is everyone? Or maybe I’m not looking in the right places but I REFUSE to request an AARP card yet just to find out the secret handshake.

So…. feel free to leave me ALL the advice you have on how to get rid of or at least tone said waddle before it goes from the beginning stages to a full-blown extra set of baggage  in the comments.

8 comments

  1. OH this totally CRACKED me up!!! Ya know why??? I’VE GOT A WADDLE TOO!!! Mine hangs weird though, like a pouch deal or something…(to make matters even worse!!) I keep stretching my chin up to straighten it out thinking this would eventually clear it up…isn’t THAT funny in a real pathetic way?? Now if I look down at all, I feel the layers smush together and I cringe and lift my chin again! It’s worse with a tan. THAT’S why you found it now!!!! LOL
    PS: Don’t. I repeat DON’T stand in front of a mirror and put your chin down into your chest and look up at your face. Scares the living hell outta me. Seriously. Don’t do it. And don’t look at your butt from behind naked either. That makes me cry every time. lol
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