It’s that time of the year when everyone is abuzz with New Year’s resolutions. They range from lose weight, exercise more, get healthy and a million others in between. I’m not against resolutions but what I do hate to see is an unrealistic attitude and approach on the losing weight one and the biggest offenders are women.
Men look at themselves, pat their bellies and say “yep, gotta lose a few pounds” and do whatever they need to do to accomplish it. They don’t lament over the fact that they can’t see their feet. They don’t obsess at the reflection staring back at them in the mirror and they sure as hell don’t parade in front of their friends asking if “these jeans make their ass look big”.
Women on the other hand, do all of this and more. We will pour our hearts and souls out for an entire meal over the fact that they can’t believe they can’t shed those last 5 baby pounds or the fact that “nothing” in the closet fits anymore. We will starve ourselves, try every diet out there – sometimes two at a time and watch every ounce of food and air that goes into our mouthes.
Instead of cutting that ounce of food out of your diet, why not cut yourself an ounce of slack? Instead of looking for the latest yoyo diet that you’re going to drive yourself crazy over in a matter of days – give yourself a pound of positive body image. Why don’t you stop stressing out over the fact that you’ve gained 5 pounds this year? Why not raise your head tall and love the person that you are? Throw away all the awful magazines that tell you what you should look like and what the editors consider “normal”. Find YOUR normal and embrace it.
Ladies, I hate to tell you but there comes a point in our lives when our body doesn’t want to give up those last 5 pounds of fat. It’s holding on to it for a reason. And the harder you fight it, the harder it’s going to fight back to stick around. I’m not saying to not get healthy – we can all use that, but maybe start with simple things. Love soda? Try dropping soda from your diet first. Sugar? Stop eating refined sugar products and grab a piece of fruit instead. If you are a meat and potato loving person, showing up to your body’s party with nothing but a salad is just going to end poorly. And you know that I’m right.
Honestly, the only person that notices that you’ve gained 5 pounds is YOU. I don’t. Your husband doesn’t (and if he does, he’s smart and won’t tell you) and the lady in the checkout stand sure as hell doesn’t. Your kids would never notice if you weighed 120 or 170 and I’ve heard stories where kids didn’t really like the new, “non-squishy” mommy. By easing up on your own expectations, not only will you be giving yourself a break, you’ll be giving all of us who have to listen to your diet-crying a break.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the role model of a super in-shape person. I’m a size 12. I’m happy as a size 12. The Rooster is happy with me as a size 12. I look GOOD as a size 12. Do I need to eat better? Yes. Do I need to exercise? Yes. But I don’t obsess over it and you should stop, too.
Here’s what I want to say to each of you who are wringing your hands over your weight:
I love you. I love the person you are and I do not see what you’re talking about when you start poking and prodding at your body. I choose to be friends with you because you’re awesome, you make me laugh and you put up with my crazy ideas and sense of humor. I really don’t want to count calories with you – I would much rather have a good, healthy meal and an amazing glass of wine and have the conversation be about ANYTHING other than calories, carb intake and the benefits of tofu (there are none in my opinion). And honestly, you bore me to tears when you go on and on about your “fat thighs”.
So here’s to you getting in better health in 2013 – but please, don’t have a heart attack over it. I love you just the way you are. You should try it – it feels really good!
**Added bonus – my friend Lisa brought this clip to my attention.. it’s perfect for this post. Watch it:
Kristen
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Thank you for an honest, sensible and realistic discussion on being healthy and true to YOU.
Arminda recently posted..My Last Day of 2012
We just beat ourselves up over instead of looking for simple things to change. It’s that whole “how do you eat an elephant thing”. My bigger issue is the message that it sends our daughters.
A big AMEN to this! I love my jiggly parts! I used to be that “skinny” chick back in my 20′s and early 30′s. But I’m 44 now and it’s dang hard to get off any weight. Over the past couple years, I’ve learned to love who I am. I could stand to lose maybe 10-15 pounds however, I have been at my current weight consistently for the past 3 years. I think I was destined to be this size and refuse to beat myself up over it. Live and be happy, I say. If I’m healthy, all is good!
Great post!
Brenda recently posted..Groove Me
Thanks, Brenda! Both for stopping by and for the very true comment.I”m with you.. could I stand to lose some weight? Absolutely. Am I going to let it consume me? No way.
Amen sista! hehe I subscribed to. Read through a couple of your posts. I look forward to reading more!
Thanks and I was returning the favor at the same time. Looking forward to getting to know you!!
I enjoyed your post– very refreshing. I cut way back on TV/movie watching a few years ago, and I was surprised at one point to realize how much better I felt about myself since I wasn’t exposed to all the unrealistic body images. Ironically, blogging has had the unintended consequence of making me a little more self conscious than I was before. Because so many of the biggest bloggers are beautiful/thin/fashionable, which I’m not. I do try to be healthy, but looks just aren’t my biggest priority. I do care, but if I have to choose, I’d rather spend the time on my kids than trying to look perfect.
Hi Corinne!That’s interesting that the blogsphere gives you that impression. Maybe I don’t see it because I don’t read fashion or fitness blogs? Cutting exposure is probably a good move especially considering the shows that draw the attention of the 10 and up age group. Thanks for stopping by!
i hope that your girls are as confident as you are. in this day and time, i think that is the most important thing for girls. there are too many negatives in the media. happy confidence building!
btw, i’m visiting from SITS!
Thank you!! For the comment and the visit! I hope so, too…I’m trying so hard to make sure that they are but it’s tough.. I don’t think I hit that confidence level until I was well into my 30′s. If I can get them there before then, then I have done my job. By the way.. love your name.. that’s my youngest daughters name
What an awesome post! I wish we could get this through our heads and our daughters heads. We would all walk around with our head held higher! Happy SITSSharefest!
Positively Alene recently posted..coming face to face with human trafficking and the exodus road.
Thank you!!! Me, too.. but I figure if we all walk the walk and talk the talk, eventually we’ll turn the corner on positive body image. If not for our generation, then at least for our kids.
Healthy is the key – Good article with a good supporting video Kristen. I wish more young women will see your post. Scrawny does not beget you Healthy.
Thanks, Teddy! All we can do is walk the walk and talk the talk and keep on encouraging them.
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