Four Hens and a Rooster

This is a story about a woman named Victoria. Victoria has a secret. Actually she has a lot of secrets and I’m not a fan of any of them.

Victoria likes to get together with all of her friends and have sleepovers. And during their sleepovers, victorias secret marketing for young buyersthey wear naughty nighties and have pillow fights. Because that’s what girls do when they have sleepovers, right? Ask any man and he’ll tell you that’s what they think we do during sleepovers once we’re past the age of 16. (And if you ask your SO and he tells you otherwise, he’s lying.)

Victoria also likes to sashay thru her million dollar house wearing satin, faux fur and kitten heels with super glossy lips. She drinks a lot of champagne but in her defense, she eats a lot of fruit like grapes and strawberries. If she’s feeling really frisky, she’ll dip it in chocolate or whipped cream.

I’m fine with those secrets. The secret that I don’t like is that Victoria is coming after my daughters. And yours. And your sons.

I’ve never had success shopping at Victoria’s Secret. My “girls” have always exceeded their offerings. I can take one look at those teeny, lacy straps and know I’ll get more support from rubber bands. I’ve also never understood why anyone above a C cup needs padding. Push up? Sure. Sexy. Hot. The man loves it. Padding? Only if I’m planning on going overboard on the 3 hour tour. So I stopped shopping there. At that time, the frolicking maidens didn’t bother me that much – I could ignore them as I searched for a bra or merry widow that would fit my size 12 body.

But then, I had a daughter. Not just when I had a daughter but when said daughter turned 13 and “discovered” Victoria and her PINK! secrets.

All of a sudden, I had a HUGE problem with Vicki and her secrets.

Suddenly, her perky breasts were suffocating me as I walked thru the mall with my teen. My teen who was being pulled in by the glitter, sequins, yoga pants and Flash Dance sweatshirts.

Yoga pants?

Yes. That’s how the corporate marketing team at Victoria’s Secret is building future brand loyalty. With their Pink line. The Pink line was created for the 18 and under crowd and in all honesty, isn’t that bad. Pretty mild stuff – work out gear, pajamas, cotton underwear. I wouldn’t have as big of an issue with it if it weren’t sold IN Victoria’s Secret – I could probably deal with letting my teen shop the Pink line. But my issue is that we have to stand in the same line as everyone else to pay.. the same line that has the 20 foot posters of Victoria and her Sirens surrounding us. Singing their siren song to lure her to their island of misfit ploys.

Telling my daughter that THIS! This is the look that you want! That THIS! This is the look that the boys want and expect!

If you’re the mom of a son and they happen to see this (how they could miss it is beyond me) – then this is what she’s telling your son that he should expect from his girlfriend. No matter what you do or what you say, mom – this is the message that he’s getting.

And that is the secret that I loathe about Victoria.

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