How to Have a Craptastic Weekend

We’ve been dealing with a plumbing issue the past few days and like anything else that involves calling a repair company, Murphy’s Law prevailed and our problem started Thursday night. Which means they couldn’t get to us until Monday. We had allllll weekend to deal with this crap.

when you have to replace your septic
This is not a crypt. This is a septic tank. Both mean death, however so maybe they are the same…

I spent a good part of the weekend longing for the days of being on city sewage. You never realize how much you take for granted simple things like running the water to brush your teeth, wash your hands or even flush the toilet until you can’t. Our weekend was spent choreographing any and all water usage as well as mopping up more water than I care to admit. Remember that old water conservation rule of “if it’s yellow, let it mellow”? Yeah. That was us. Taking a shower entailed stopping up the tub and then gradually letting the water out so as not to overflow the downstairs john. One of us stood at the tub and the other downstairs yelling “GO!” and “STOP! STOP! STOP!” if things started getting full.

It wasn’t fun and I’m not a happy camper.

But there is some good to it. There is no laundry to do. Kids don’t have to get baths. No dishwasher to unload. Cleaning the bathrooms can wait.

Can you tell I’m trying to make the best of a crappy situation?

The first round of plumbers came out today and quickly slashed our hope that it was something as simple as a clogged line. Nope. They walked right out to our septic system, dug a hole, looked in and said “it’s full” there’s nothing we can do. Great. Problem is that we just had the damn thing emptied less than a year ago which should have meant we were good to go for at least the next 3 years.  What this breaks down to is that it’s starting to look like it’s our worst fear – replacing the septic tank. We have one last string of hope and that’s the hope that it’s only the lines. The plumbers did say that there was no standing water, which is a good thing. And they both had belts on, so another good thing.

So we wait for tomorrow and hope that the crap gods have gotten bored with us and are already gone and it’s just some lines that need to be blown out (another one to go on the list of jobs I’d never want). Because if it’s more than that, my next post will be the one where I start auctioning off my kids.


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  1. It sounds like your septic tank filled up pretty quickly. Ideally they would be emptied every year but you can get away with a little longer. When it’s not emptied every year and the only time you empty it is when it blocks, some solids make their way through to the soakaway, this causes blockages in the soakaway thus you will experience smaller intervals without problem. It is possible however to just replace the soakaway and not the entire septic tank!!! That will cost you half as much and be 100% equally as effective 😉 Don’t get ripped off!! Feel free to message me if you need help dealing with the companies!! I’ll turn my reply notifications on :)
    Ben recently posted..Sewage Treatment Plant CostMy Profile

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    • Next time that $130 bill comes in the mail, show him this when he’s groaning. We still have to pay for water and for a private garbage service. Our city taxes are lower but I can’t imagine that it’s that much less than if we paid the city for service. ARGH!

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